1/2 a Year and Counting

Rent is due soon.  Every check written and cashed is not a reminder that my bank account is $900 less, but that another month has gone by without any good dick. 

October will be 6 months.

It never really dawned on me until my breakup how frustrated I have become.  Close friends are nervous to be around me because allegedly I’ve been known to snap on people for no reason.  I’m moody during the day, and depressed at night.

I constantly complain about my lack of a social life, which turns into a dramatic monologue detailing my lack of a good sex life. 

I am 23; yet my life resembles that of a 35 year-old single mother with two children.

To make matters worse, I’m feigning for dick and I don’t know if this newfound state of mind is healthy.  When people feign for things they become desperate and will do anything to get the high they crave.

Feigning for dick cannot be paralleled to feigning for crack.  A crack addict’s struggle is nothing compared to mine.  I’m not going to rob anyone for a hit or pimp my eldest child for money, but every night alone reminds me of how fucking horny I am.

Everyone around me is hooking up.  My friends are getting dick.  My enemies are getting dick.  Shit, my momma is probably getting some dick.  Faye says I need to lower my standards.  The thing is, they are low.  Them shits don't even exist anymore.  I no longer see the requirements of straight white teeth, a nice build, and intelligible conversation.

All I see is a tongue, dick, and balls.

I am almost on the verge of fucking people in my program, which is a HUGE no in my book.  I’m going through my address book contemplating what dick from the past can I call for a quick fuck.

I really need some good dick.

It is too damn early in the morning to be writing this shit.  It's almost 10am; people are earning money and recouping from getting the shit fucked out of them last night. 

Me on the other hand, I'm going to stop by CVS on my break and purchase a pack of AA batteries for my bullet.  Maybe I’ll invest in some K-Y for a more real life effect.