You Can't Handle the Truth

The only person who knows how many sexual partners I’ve had is Faye.

She didn’t gasp in horror the night I counted each conquest.  She just sat there in silence and then asked me if I used protection with the ones who were known to get around.

I was relieved my confession was received with concern rather than judgment. 

My ex once had the gall to ask me my number over fake Italian in Olive Garden.  I sipped on my Shirley Temple and replied, “Three, including you.”

I don’t even know if he believed me nor did I care at the time. 

"How many people have you had sexual intercourse with?"  

It is the age-old question people wonder but never ask, and never should.  It’s a truth people seek, but when faced with the reality that their partner has slept with more than a handful, they freak and become judgmental prudes.

Its like looking through your man’s phone to see if he’s talking to other females.  You come upon an unrecognized number and flip.  Next thing you know you start questioning his whereabouts.

I have no sympathy for women or men who snoop.  If you go looking for answers, be able to handle the truth! 

When the ex asked me my number again during the breakup I obliged him.  I told him the real number was triple that in Olive Garden and that his dick was amongst the top three worst fucks I had ever experienced.

He flipped like the chick scrolling through her man’s phone.  He told me I was a slut whore.  Said he never wanted to see my face again.

The lesson to be learned: seek the truth when you can handle the whole truth.

And never ask your partner their sex number.  It has nothing to do with the present, and is none of your damn business.  Its their past and should not determine if you continue to date them or even allow yourself to fall in love. 

If he or she has whore tendencies it will resurface regardless of your knowledge that they slept with 20 plus people.

So stop snooping and asking so many damn questions.  Chill out and enjoy being the only number that matters (even if it is a fallacy).

LOL!