My Friend, the Goddess NIKE

My friend is so fucking scary.

Chick is afraid of dick.

She’s a 23 year old virgin, and when I say virgin I mean a virgin to not only penetration but stimulation.

She’s a red Amazon with huge breasts, curly hair, and wears a Tri-State mug that keeps bullshit from coming her way.

Chick is cool as fuck but can’t relay this to the dude she wants.  She’s an avid reader and I think my sexual escapades have substituted her Sex Chronicles and unleashed a flood of congested sexual desire.

So Lisa and I, being the slut whores that we are, have taken her under our wings and schooled her as best we know on how to get that dick.

The lessons include not just how to get dick, but how to get some head, how to give some head, how to talk to a man, how to be a comfortable with your sexuality and accept that there is nothing wrong with being a 6 foot horny woman.

Thing is, chick is receptive to our advice but when it comes to following the daily lessons set out in our plan she chooses her own path, a path I fear will lead to her masturbating at night for the next five years while everyone around her (including the dude she likes) is getting fucked and sucked.

She constantly makes excuses after claiming she’ll do better and grow the fuck up, but she’s still 7.  Well let me give her come credit, ater giving dude her number and setting up an appointment (not to fuck, but hey it’s a step) she’s more like 12.

She’s getting it, but damn, if she don’t get that dick before we graduate I’ll scream and revoke her privileges to the blog (is that shit even possible?)

I have to constantly remind her, encourage her to not over analyze life.  To embrace her tingle and stimulate it.  To grow up, be a woman, embrace her sexual side, open her newly purchased bullet and JUST DO IT!