I have two B.O.B.
Battery Operated Boyfriend.
An orange g-spot boyfriend, and a pink clitoral stimulator boyfriend.
I keep them in separate drawers, so they don’t find out about each other. As of right now, I’m actually seeing Mr. Grafenberg exclusively. The clit B.O.B. is wonderful and all. Sensual. Patient. Reliable.
But Mr. Grafenberg is…well he’s able to hit that spot that my other B.O.B. will never be able to reach. And sometimes a girl needs a vaginal orgasm. I don’t like messy sheets, but as my girls love to chant, “Lay the towel down!”
So my home girl Darling, has been pleasuring herself MANUALLY for like a decade. When I found out she was letting her fingers do all the talking, I took her to the local sex store and introduced her to the best boyfriend money can buy.
A boyfriend who consistently provides stimulating conversation as he vibrates sweet-nothings upon your clit.
A boyfriend who doesn’t make false promises of multiple orgasms.
A boyfriend you can easily get rid of after you cum.
She purchased a pink g-spot B.O.B. (why do women love pink vibrators lol).
So Darling and B.O.B. have been dating for almost two weeks. Last night I decided to be nosy and check on the status of their relationship.
“So, how’s B.O.B. treating ya?”
"I don’t like him," she responds.
Uhh…how do you not like a boyfriend who can easily be turned off and dismissed when you’re done using him.
“He’s distracting, I can’t deal with it.”
Poor baby…lol…apparently her boyfriend’s sweet-nothings are too loud. She can’t focus on what the hell he’s trying to say. I suggested adding music to their triple A battery sessions but I think she’s too fed up with him to even care.
I blame myself for this failed relationship (and the 6’3, 260 lb. brother who sold her the damn thing). I bragged about my boyfriend so much that she figured hers would be just as good, if not even better.
But he let her down.
So my thing is, if you can’t purchase non-refundable pleasure…if you can’t even get off from a battery operated piece of plastic…if you can’t meet a REAL man who will stick around long enough to be your boyfriend so you can give B.O.B. a few months to charge…what the fuck are you suppose to do?
Battery Operated Boyfriend.
An orange g-spot boyfriend, and a pink clitoral stimulator boyfriend.
I keep them in separate drawers, so they don’t find out about each other. As of right now, I’m actually seeing Mr. Grafenberg exclusively. The clit B.O.B. is wonderful and all. Sensual. Patient. Reliable.
But Mr. Grafenberg is…well he’s able to hit that spot that my other B.O.B. will never be able to reach. And sometimes a girl needs a vaginal orgasm. I don’t like messy sheets, but as my girls love to chant, “Lay the towel down!”
So my home girl Darling, has been pleasuring herself MANUALLY for like a decade. When I found out she was letting her fingers do all the talking, I took her to the local sex store and introduced her to the best boyfriend money can buy.
A boyfriend who consistently provides stimulating conversation as he vibrates sweet-nothings upon your clit.
A boyfriend who doesn’t make false promises of multiple orgasms.
A boyfriend you can easily get rid of after you cum.
She purchased a pink g-spot B.O.B. (why do women love pink vibrators lol).
So Darling and B.O.B. have been dating for almost two weeks. Last night I decided to be nosy and check on the status of their relationship.
“So, how’s B.O.B. treating ya?”
"I don’t like him," she responds.
Uhh…how do you not like a boyfriend who can easily be turned off and dismissed when you’re done using him.
“He’s distracting, I can’t deal with it.”
Poor baby…lol…apparently her boyfriend’s sweet-nothings are too loud. She can’t focus on what the hell he’s trying to say. I suggested adding music to their triple A battery sessions but I think she’s too fed up with him to even care.
I blame myself for this failed relationship (and the 6’3, 260 lb. brother who sold her the damn thing). I bragged about my boyfriend so much that she figured hers would be just as good, if not even better.
But he let her down.
So my thing is, if you can’t purchase non-refundable pleasure…if you can’t even get off from a battery operated piece of plastic…if you can’t meet a REAL man who will stick around long enough to be your boyfriend so you can give B.O.B. a few months to charge…what the fuck are you suppose to do?
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