An old friend of mine recently got back together with her favorite bust it baby. This man has managed to avoid commitment for two years but I guess he lost stamina because before the holidays hit he was bit by the “love bug”.
Now, I’m all excited for chick because she really loves dude. I don’t support the relationship, but hey, if you’re disillusioned into believing you’re happy than I’m happy for you.
I tell my girlfriends and they start laughing. One chick is like “hell no, I don’t believe it!” and the other simply states “sweat rice”.
Errruhhh…what rice? So she informs me that sweat rice is a recipe used by a woman who desperately wants to keep her man (more like a man that was never hers to keep in the first place). It’s a simple recipe that only requires rice and menstruation.
Yes, ladies and gentleman rice is needed! Oh wait, so is period blood…so pretty much the woman needs to cook her boo some rice and while it’s boiling, put the pot on the ground, stand over it with no panties on, and wait for her menstruation to drip drop into the pot.
Yummy much?
Once there’s enough menstruation in the pot, the desperate psycho woman can continue cooking the rice as usual and once cooled serve her man. Of course, chick can’t eat her own menstruation so she has to cook a separate pot of rice for herself or just claim to be on the Atkins Diet.
So my thing is, really? Rice and blood. What the fuck? Both women mentioned are from the West Indies, so I’m thinking this rice voodoo recipe is culturally influenced, but as a Southern Belle will the same affect occur with macaroni? Or cornbread? Or cheese grits? Or any other starchy southern delight?
I’m thinking sweat sweet potato pie may have sweat rice beat.
Aside from the disturbing recipe, I can’t fathom that chick would really menstruate into a pot of bubbling rice and peas just to get a nigga to stay.
That by far is the craziest and most desperate shit I’ve ever heard. Fuck poking holes into the condom! Is a dude really worth compromising your Christian beliefs for? So much for a blessed union…
And why the hell does the recipe call for blood from your cycle? So if a dude hits it raw while you’re on your period, will your flow upon his dick cause him to rethink leaving you for the other woman he’s scheduled to fuck later that day?
And why the fuck does the recipe call for rice? Like, what are they really trying to hint at? Now I love me some rice and peas, but I’m more of a macaroni and cheese girl. So are you saying my choice of starch won’t work. Will the noodles and blood make him LEAVE instead? Oh, the tragedy.
I’m just amazed that there’s such a thing as sweat rice. I don’t think chick would stoop as low to bleed into a pot of rice and then feed it to ole boy, but who knows, they are STILL together…*blank stare*
Now, I’m all excited for chick because she really loves dude. I don’t support the relationship, but hey, if you’re disillusioned into believing you’re happy than I’m happy for you.
I tell my girlfriends and they start laughing. One chick is like “hell no, I don’t believe it!” and the other simply states “sweat rice”.
Errruhhh…what rice? So she informs me that sweat rice is a recipe used by a woman who desperately wants to keep her man (more like a man that was never hers to keep in the first place). It’s a simple recipe that only requires rice and menstruation.
Yes, ladies and gentleman rice is needed! Oh wait, so is period blood…so pretty much the woman needs to cook her boo some rice and while it’s boiling, put the pot on the ground, stand over it with no panties on, and wait for her menstruation to drip drop into the pot.
Yummy much?
Once there’s enough menstruation in the pot, the desperate psycho woman can continue cooking the rice as usual and once cooled serve her man. Of course, chick can’t eat her own menstruation so she has to cook a separate pot of rice for herself or just claim to be on the Atkins Diet.
So my thing is, really? Rice and blood. What the fuck? Both women mentioned are from the West Indies, so I’m thinking this rice voodoo recipe is culturally influenced, but as a Southern Belle will the same affect occur with macaroni? Or cornbread? Or cheese grits? Or any other starchy southern delight?
I’m thinking sweat sweet potato pie may have sweat rice beat.
Aside from the disturbing recipe, I can’t fathom that chick would really menstruate into a pot of bubbling rice and peas just to get a nigga to stay.
That by far is the craziest and most desperate shit I’ve ever heard. Fuck poking holes into the condom! Is a dude really worth compromising your Christian beliefs for? So much for a blessed union…
And why the hell does the recipe call for blood from your cycle? So if a dude hits it raw while you’re on your period, will your flow upon his dick cause him to rethink leaving you for the other woman he’s scheduled to fuck later that day?
And why the fuck does the recipe call for rice? Like, what are they really trying to hint at? Now I love me some rice and peas, but I’m more of a macaroni and cheese girl. So are you saying my choice of starch won’t work. Will the noodles and blood make him LEAVE instead? Oh, the tragedy.
I’m just amazed that there’s such a thing as sweat rice. I don’t think chick would stoop as low to bleed into a pot of rice and then feed it to ole boy, but who knows, they are STILL together…*blank stare*
Posts
1 comment:
OMG this is the funniest ish I've ever read.
Post a Comment